troy. i am sorry. i wont forget seeing you in the back of the police car. i said goodbye. i said i love you. over and over and over. i love you. i feel that i wont see you anymore. the troy that i know to be you. your pills changed you. your bipolarschitiphrenicdementia changed you. i cried. i cried. i am sorry that they are going to sedate you in your holding cell. make you not think or move. put you on the list for life. i am sorry that you wanted to end your life. i knew you wanted to. when you handed me and travis the pictures i knew. i knew it was your way of saying goodbye. the troy inside was saying goodbye because the new one took over. you say that you have the truth and i cannot say it is a lie. i believe that you hold the truth with your reality. i dont want to tell others because i think i am crazy too. we are both keepers of the light. we are the teachers.